Christmas and Floundering Mamma

Merry belated Christmas


Hope you all (all 4 of your that still read this blog) had a wonderful Christmas and are recovering from the craziness.

I had one of the if not THE best Christmases. I was in warm, sunny St. George. My entire family was together for the first time in a few years, Ollie was in some state of euphoria the entire time with so many cousins, nana's, papa's and friends to play with, Sophie was loved and adored by all who met her, I was overwhelmed (understatement) with generosity and I was very aware the whole time that my Savior, Jesus Christ loved me. Why else would he bless me with all of this? I love when Christmas falls on a Sunday. It always enhances the true meaning of the day when we take time to go to church and feel of that incredible spirit. A little time out from the craziness of gifts and food and fun.



In other news... I'm feeling kinda like this these days

Not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

The adjustment from 1 to 2 kids has proven FAR more difficult than I imagined (I am typing this one handed while holding a fussy Sophie while Ollie is glued to the iPad).

I guess I figured that I have done this before so doing it again would be no problem.
Wrong.

Sophie is a different baby than Ollie. She sleeps at night (yay!) but not in the day (boo). She nurses... constantly. Too much in fact because I cannot keep up with her demand. She is really not on any kind of schedule yet. It's just a whole different ball game with her. PLUS, lets not forget that Ollie Pop has needs too. I just feel like I cannot keep it all together most days. No time for anything but taking care of my babies. No time to get ready, no time to eat (which makes me make less milk which worsens the issue with feeding Sophie), no time to take care of my home besides an occasional load of dishes and laundry. Oi.

It's been a lot. Particularly feeding Sophie. It's so frustrating when I can't seem to keep up with her. I want to give her the very best I can and when I can't, I feel awful. I never realized how much pressure was on a woman when you are the source of your baby's nutrition. Ollie was formula fed his whole infancy and he has always been one of the healthiest kids I know, so why do I feel like dirt when I have to supplement Sophie with a little formula? I only started doing that a few days ago because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why?! Pressure.

I am not posting this for pity, it's just one of those things that makes me feel better if I get it off my chest. In talking with other Moms of two, it's made me feel better to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Makes me feel like less of a failure because this seems to be the norm in most cases. I also realize that this whole situation will get better. It will get easier. I will get in a routine, I will figure this out and all will be well. Of that I am sure. I am also sure that there is absolutely NOTHING else I would rather be doing. It's unreal how much I love my kids. Ollie makes me laugh and smile and remember to play every single day. He melts my heart when I say "I love you" and he says "uff oo too (love you too)". He is the most charming little man I know. And Sophie makes me feel so content and happy when she is sleeping on my chest or is cuddled up in my arms. She is very close with heaven and I feel that when I have quiet moments with her and it's incredible. Plus she's just the cutest baby girl I have ever seen.

Bottom line is, my house is a mess, there are dishes and laundry and stuff everywhere, I am rarely dressed and hair/make-up is even more rare, my baby is not on a schedule yet and has formula now and then, BUT all will be well if I let it be. And I'm gonna try.

The past month

**Caution, don't read if you are easily grossed out**

What a ride this past month has been.


Our lives have been SO blessed to have little Sophie in our home. She is so sweet and happy and an AMAZING sleeper at night. Ollie didn't start sleeping through the night until he was one, so having baby girl sleeping so well this early was a very welcome surprise!


Ollie has been incredible. Seriously, he couldn't be doing better. I have not seen an ounce of jealousy in him, which really surprises me because I spend so much time feeding Sophie. But he usually just comes and hangs out in the nursery while I feed her and we sing songs and he plays with his toys. He's just the most incredible little boy. He LOVES Sophie and always lets me know when "Offie sad" and then promptly runs to her and tells her "it ok Offie". It just melts me heart to see him be so sweet with her.


It's been a really long month. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to complain, because things could have been SO much worse and really, Sophie is completely and totally worth every single hardship. I would do it all again in an instant for her. But as much as I love having my two babies, I have really struggled to take care of them and our home because I have had such a difficult recovery since delivery. The first two weeks I was just in so much pain from tearing so badly and a long long labor. When that finally started to improve, I started hemorrhaging. It would happen with NO warning and I would be soaked down to my ankles in literally an instant. The first time it happened it scared me to death, I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't control the bleeding so we called 911 and they sent an ambulance. SO lucky Jon was home at the time. The ER couldn't find the source of the bleeding so we assumed it was a fluke thing. A few days later the same thing happened again, in my car, while I was driving, alone, on the freeway. Way fun. Now we knew something was clearly not right. I ended up getting another Ultrasound (they had done one at the ER and didn't see anything) and at that time they did see that there was something in my uterus and likely causing the bleeding. I had a D&C done the next day where they did find 2 large pieces of placenta that were the problem. They were removed and everything went fine. Today I am feeling better than I have in a long time and it feels soooo good.

Like I said, it's been a tough month, but I am so unbelievably grateful for all the family and friends that have helped me and my family through all of this. I have had so much help and support and it has meant the world to us. I hope I can repay you all someday.

We are really excited for me to be healthy again and to get to St. George for a wonderful Christmas with our families. Ollie is pretty much in heaven in St. George. Playing outside with all his cousins is his happy place. Can't wait to see the joy he will be overflowing with.

She's here

Hello world.

This is Sophie.


She's our baby girl... holy cow, I still can't even believe it. I can't believe she is here and she is ours.

The journey getting her here was not what I expected for sure. But she is oh so worth it. Every bit of it.

I was admitted to Labor and Delivery on Sunday the 13th to begin my induction because of high blood pressure. I was started on a medication to try and get my body a little more ready for labor right away. What I understood of this medication was that it would simply soften things up to get ready for the labor inducing Pitocin. I anticipated a very uneventful evening and the labor to start on Monday when they started the Pitocin, and so I sent Jon to work that night to wrap up his project so he could take the rest of the week off. A few hours later, I was bawling my eyes out in pain with back to back, non-stop contractions. The doctors and nurses were all very thrown off by my reaction to the medication and suggested I get the epidural that night which I gladly accepted. Thank heavens for that stuff.

It was a long night, and a long day Monday. After 25 hours in labor, and then 1 hour of pushing, our perfect little girl was born. She was 6lbs. 6oz. and measured at 20 inches long, although she was re-measured later and was 19 inches long, which I think was more accurate.

It was overwhelming in so many ways it's just so hard to describe. I was in a lot of pain, even with the epidural, and baby girl was not kind to my body, lets just say she left her mark. But seeing her and hearing her cry was indescribable. I was sobbing. SOBBING. Just like when Ollie was born.

She was having a little trouble breathing but was quickly taken care of and in my arms. I didn't hold her long because I was so weak, so I passed her to her Daddy and watched the sweetest Daddy- Daughter meeting ever.

My recovery since has been hard. Really hard. Nothing like what I was prepared for. Thank heavens for my husband and Mom who have taken care of EVERYTHING while I have been a useless mess.

Ollie has been really good with his new sister. He was really excited when he first met her and has since shown little interest in her. I don't blame him. She doesn't do much so she's pretty un-amusing to 2-year-old. Speaking of, Ollie turned TWO!! We were all so crazy with Sophie's arrival and Ollie was so sick, so his actual birthday was pretty lame, but he seemed pretty content with a small birthday cake and a new train set. Can't believe my baby boy is two. He looks like a giant next to his baby sister who is the same size he was when he was born.

There is so much to the whole story but I think that's probably enough for now. We are just SO SO happy our girl is here and SO grateful that she is healthy and seemingly perfect. I just can't believe we have these two incredible kids. I can't believe we are a family of 4.

Here comes baby!

Wow... what a week it has been.

My pregnancy has gone so well. I have been really lucky to have such a healthy and smooth pregnancy. Minimal morning sickness, normal weight gain, everything has been right on track.

Well, starting on Tuesday things took a little change. I felt fine as I went in to see my Doctor for a regular visit but to our surprise my BP was very high. So I was sent to Labor and Delivery and told that if it didn't come down, they would induce me that day (yikes!). Thankfully, my pressure went down and all my labs were normal so I was sent on home.

Long story short, Wednesday and Thursday went about the same. Each time I came to follow up with my Doctor, my BP was high, higher each day in fact and so each day she sent me back to Labor and Delivery where my BP would almost immediately come down. Weird.

I do not have pre-eclampsia, just high blood pressure, but it's enough that my Doctor is not comfortable with me staying pregnant, and so, Sunday, my 37 week mark, is the day! I will go to the hospital Sunday evening for some "preparatory medication" and they will start Pitocin on Monday morning. My body at last check was not at all ready for labor and so I anticipate a very slow, long process on Monday before our sweet baby girl makes her big entrance.

I can't believe this is happening... I was supposed to have another month, I had plans! I guess our little princess has plans of her own though.

I am SO beyond excited to finally meet her, hold her, kiss her, to see her with her big brother, to see his reaction to her. SO excited for all of that! I'm just hoping and praying that she is a healthy girl. She will be full term and I know that she will be ok, but didn't you just worry like crazy that your baby wouldn't be healthy?? Is that just me? It just seems like no one could be so lucky as to have TWO children in perfect health, but that seems to be the norm. I just can't wait to hear her cry.

Funny, Jon took this picture just before I was leaving for my Doctor appointment and I said "I hope this is the LAST one of these we have to do!". Meaning, I have been taking these pictures about every 6 weeks and I hoped I would not go 2 weeks over my due date, I didn't mean she needed to come out NOW.

Anyway though, here we are, weeks 30 & 36

I look weird in that picture... my face is doing something funny.

Anyway, I am home on strict bedrest until Sunday to try and keep my blood pressure down. My family and friends have been angels taking care of Ollie but I am REALLY missing him. I feel so sad that I am on bedrest and can't do all the fun things with him that I wanted to do before this baby came. I had all these plans, and now I am stuck being a boring bump on a log momma. :(
I am so so sad that I can't really take advantage of these last few days of just Ollie. I know I will still have time with just the two of us, so I am trying to remember that another baby doesn't replace my Ollie, and doesn't mean I can't spend time with just him. I just wish I could do more with him now.

I guess the next post you see here will be of baby girl... that's crazy.
Wish us luck!!!

Hoot Hoot

This Halloween was SO much fun.

Last year, Ollie was just too little and had no idea what was going on. This year, he got it. Wear the costume, say "tee to teet" and you get candy. Easy as that.

I was also very proud of my little non-sewer self for making my little hoot's costume this year. Sewing is not one of my skills and I didn't use a pattern, but I was happy with the outcome.

"hoot hoot"

I love the above left picture, that's ollie's cheeser underbite grin and I find it so goofy and adorable.

I had a very busy day on Halloween and took no time whatsoever getting myself together so I look like a bit of a hag, but I had to have a picture of myself with the cute "pumpkin smuggler" shirt my mom found for me. It was oh so appropriate. What else can a 9 month pregnant lady be on Halloween?

Anyway, it was a really fun night watching my little buddy and his friends have so much fun. It's amazing how happy it makes you feel to see your kid happy.

A happy time

So, Jon and I decided to have some little family/maternity pictures taken a few weeks ago. At the time, I would have rather had a fork stuck in my eye than have photos taken of myself, but Jon kept telling me I would regret it if I didn't have any pictures of this really amazing time in our lives and eventually, I agreed.

My vain, girly mind could point out all kinds of flaws and unflattering features, but my better side is prevailing and saying these are beautiful. They really are. This has been an incredible blessing in our family to have this opportunity to be pregnant and with a sweet baby girl. I really can't think of what else I could ask for in life besides for her to be healthy. It seems like an impossible thing to have TWO perfect, healthy kids, a boy and a girl, but it seems to happen a lot so hopefully that is a blessing we will know :)

Anyway, I love how these turned out. Jen Herem did a fabulous job in less than ideal conditions. Being a photographer myself, I knew I was asking a difficult thing to shoot inside in such a small space with less than ideal lighting, but she made it happen! I really wanted these done at home to make them feel very comfortable and natural, and I think that's just what we got. I am happy we did it.

I love it. I love this incredible little space of time in my life. I love my absolutely wonderful husband, my perfect, adorable little toddler, my big, round belly, the sweet but wildly active baby girl inside, and the family we are together. Life is good.

How does he know??

I have the greatest little boy on the planet.

How did I ever become so blessed to be his Mommy?? I think I will wonder that for all eternity.

I am just in awe at the heart my little man has. He is two. He is wild and crazy and throws tantrums and fits and gets into trouble, but at the same time, he is SO incredibly in tune to his Momma's feelings lately.

I have been sick a couple of times in the last couple of months. Once with a yucky cold, and just yesterday/today with some awful stomach bug. It's really tough being sick when you are pregnant and especially when your hubby isn't home and your family lives far away. Thank heavens for my friends... I honestly do not know what I would do without the incredible friends and neighbors I have here. I rely on them SO much and every single time I am in need of help, someone is there. I am so so lucky.
Anyway, though, Ollie. In the midst of his wild 2-year-oldness, each time I have become sick, he has instantly gone on his best and most adorable behavior. He knows. He knows I am sick, he knows I need him to be good, and he does it. He seriously does. He is patient and happy helps me more than he understands and I just don't know how he knows to do that?!

Example #2.
A couple weeks ago, my good friend and I were sitting on the floor at my house, having a very sad cry over some really awful trials she was facing in her life. We were both so sad, and Ollie saw. He walked up to me, looking very concerned, and I said "It's ok buddy, Momma is just sad, it's ok" and without missing a beat he said "uck?" (hug in Ollie language) and walked right up to me giving me a great big hug followed by a great big kiss. He then immediately turned to my friend and did the very same thing. No prompting, no asking, he just did it.
He just knew.
I don't think there is any better medicine on the earth.

That's how I know my little boy has an exceptional heart. I hope he reads this some day when he is older and realizes how much it meant to me that he did that.


In other, less sappy news, Ollie has graduated to his new big boy bed! I can't even tell you how shocked I am at how well he transitioned. He was busting out of his crib about 10 times a night and so I couldn't even imagine what he would do with a bed that was EASY to get out of, but it seems that the freedom was just what he wanted. He still gets out of bed almost nightly, but FAR less than with his crib. He loves his bed! Even when he falls out of it at night, he still wants his bed and wants nothing to do with a crib.
What a BIG boy he is! I'm so proud :)

excuse the poor quality pictures... they are from my phone :)

30 weeks

Hello again friends

Well, here we are, 30 weeks!

weeks 24 and 30

The month of September seems to have slipped right by when I wasn't looking. Fall is always a very busy time for me with my photography and so I am certain October and November are going to fly by just as fast, if not faster and before I know it, baby girl is going to be in my arms instead of my ribcage. That's scary... and exciting!

Pregnancy is going well overall. It's definitely not quite as rosy as it was in my second trimester... lots of back pain, swelling and not much sleeping without the help of Tylenol PM. I've been quite whiney in the past few weeks actually... sorry if you are a friend or family member who's had to listen to it :)

I am so happy that this baby is growing healthy and strong. She should be around 3lbs now and just packing on the weight day by day. She is still VERY active. It's really fun to sit and watch my belly while she is doing her gymnastics in there. Jon gets a kick out of it too... I love to watch his face when he is watching my belly or when he is poking her and waiting for her to kick back. His eyes get real big and he just smiles. This little girl has him right where she wants him.

Overall, life is good. My family has received some huge blessings recently and I feel so grateful and so happy with my life right now. Ollie has been SUCH a good boy, he's so sweet and charming and adorable. I have been sick the past few days and he has been nothing but patient as Mommy was a total bump on a log. Oh I love him. Don't know what else I could possibly ask for. All is well.

Ollie wanted a bump picture too... Here is his sweet little bump at 22 months. :)

Boys will be boys

Have you taken your kids to your local fire station? If not, you should.
My good friend, Elise, told me you could take your kids over there just about any time for a little tour, so we finally did it. What a fun thing to do! The boys were indeed in little boy heaven with all the trucks and lights and gear. The firemen were so great and I'm pretty sure they were excited to have some cute little kiddos to play with for a bit.

Anyway, put this on your list of fun things to do this summer.

What a little stud.

Terrible two's and 24 weeks

Hello friends.

Are you all having a lovely summer? I am.

It's been lovely, but exhausting to be honest. We have had so many fun things to do and Ollie has had so much fun with his friends, cousins, grandparents and family. It really has been so fun to just watch him soak it all in.

However, there is a down side to having so much fun. My little almost two year old seems to think that the rules no longer apply, sleep is no longer necessary and fits will get you anything your little heart desires. Oi. I love my little man more than anything in this world, but this terrible two thing is wearing this big pregnant lady out. I hope things calm down before baby girl gets here. Actually, I hope they calm down tonight :)

I thought I would post this picture of the Pops because this boy NEVER falls asleep anywhere but his bed or the car. But today, he decided he didn't need a nap before or after church, which has NEVER happened before, and finally, around 6, he crashed watching TV with Dad.

And the belly...

Oh the belly. I hadn't taken a new bump picture for a few weeks and I really didn't think there was THAT much change... and then I saw this...

Weeks 18 and 24

Eeeeeeeek!

I think my baby is growing in a sideways oval shape or a triangle.
I am large.
Wow.

Other than that though, things are going well. I still feel quite good but I am starting to swell. Probably from the heat and all the traveling I have done in the past few weeks. Cankles and sausage fingers not so funny when they are on YOUR feet and hands.

Still, things are going well and I am really happy that our baby girl is growing healthy and strong. I'm trying really hard to remember that when I get overwhelmed with how big I am getting and the swelling comes. I said over and over again before I was pregnant, that I would GLADLY gain the weight, endure the morning sickness, put up with the swelling and pain and whatever else came if it meant I could be pregnant. I forget that sometimes, but every time I feel her kick or squirm in my belly, I am reminded how much I LOVE being pregnant and getting to experience all of this, even the not so fun stuff. It's still a miracle and an absolute gift to be able to carry this little one.

Something NEW and EXCITING!

I have been working SO hard on this new project and I'm so excited to share my new website and new vision with you all!

Head on over to

to enter the "STYLE MY KID" contest!!
Trust me you don't want to miss out on this one!

bumpin'

I think it's official... I look pregnant. :)

This is week 13 and week 18. I must admit, I am a lot happier at 18 weeks than I was at 13. I feel like it's pretty obvious that this is a baby bump now and I am lovin' it.
I really was pretty whiney for the first little while because of my weight gain and how I felt I looked, and now, I'm just enjoying it :) I love that people I don't know ask how far along I am, or that people are giving my bump a little pat every now and then. I really do love it. It makes me happy.

Baby girl is doing great! She is a mover and a shaker that's for sure. Feeling her move is THE coolest thing. I absolutely love it. The doctors have all told me (I have had like 7 ultrasounds so far... lucky me!) that I would probably feel her early because of how active she was at each appointment and they were right! I hesitate to say it, because I know a lot of people will say I was just imagining, but I am more sure now than ever that I started feeling this little one around 14 weeks. I wasn't completely sure at the time, but now that I feel her regularly, I recognize that what I felt so early at 14 weeks was the very same thing I feel now, it was just more subtle and soft. She certainly isn't kicking hard enough to cause any discomfort now, but there is no question when she is kicking and when she is just moving around. She's doing it right now actually. :) It's just amazing. I could really sit and just feel her move all day. I love feeling this and knowing that she is ok. It's the most comforting, happy thing. I can't wait for Jon to be able to feel her move too.

I like being pregnant :)

Losing it

I've noticed that with this pregnancy that my patience is really short. If Ollie is being naughty (he's a toddler... he's supposed to be naughty) I find myself loosing my cool so quickly and at the end of every day I feel so bad about it.
I love him so dang much. Good or naughty, sleeping well or not, happy or sad, I love my boy with all I have and I really need to remember that in those times when my patience is tested.
He is my everything.
He makes me smile and laugh every single day.
He fills me with SO much love when he gives me hugs and kisses.
And our days of "just us" are coming to an end this year, so I am vowing now to do better and not waste any of my precious time with him being mad at him because he keeps hiding the TV remote. :)

My most handsome little dude at 19 months.

One of my favorite things about being a photographer is that I get to capture so much of Ollie's life. All his little ages and stages and the things that make him happy, like the pictures in the white shirt where his face is covered in chocolate, he is in dirty pajamas, running outside in the wind with his truck in hand. He was having so much fun just running around like a little maniac and I never wanna forget those moments.

PS These pictures are much cuter if you click on them to enlarge them :)

The verdict

So....

Jon and I decided to be spontaneous today and sneak in for an early ultrasound to confirm that baby Layne was indeed a boy
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but surprise...

Holy shocker.

I knew this was a boy from the very beginning. I KNEW. There was not even a tiny piece of me that thought we had a girl coming.

When the ultrasound lady said it was a girl I just started crying and laughing. I was in such complete shock. I kept asking if she was SURE. And she just laughed and said this little girl is showing it all, no reservations. It's a girl.
She checked like 7 more times... and each time, our little princess was happy to show us that she was NOT a boy. It was like she did it on purpose and wanted to make sure that Mommy stopped calling her a boy and wanted to rub it in my face a bit.
What a stinker.

We could not possibly be happier. I would have been completely thrilled with a boy or girl, didn't matter one tiny bit, but I just knew it was a boy. Apparently my "mothers intuition" is a little thrown off... we'll blame it on the pregnancy. :)

We are so so excited.
Can't wait to meet you baby girl!

P.S. funny little story. Last night, Ollie was being especially adorable, and I told Jon I was a little nervous because I KNEW that there was no way this baby could be as cute and adorable and charming as Ollie and I felt bad... but now that it's a girl, you really can't compare a boy vs a girl so we are good :)

Haircut trauma

The time finally came...

the time when too many people were confusing Ollie for a girl because of his long, curly, beautiful locks, and it was time for his first haircut.

This was so bittersweet. I LOVE Ollie's hair. His little curly ringlets always made me smile. But it was SO long that it was just a total mess most of the time and it was looking quite girly.

It was a traumatic experience for my little man, and looking at these pictures, I feel like such an awful Momma for taking pictures instead of trying to console him... but the pictures are so priceless.

Here we are before, long, wild, out of control hair (but still oh so adorable)

Here's what we rigged up to try and saddle the boy, and the first few cuts, which clearly Ollie was NOT a fan of.

But nothing a binkie won't fix

And after, still curly and a little wild, but more tame and definitely more manly :)

Ollie was NOT a fan of Bevin after all of this...

Thank you Auntie Bevo! I'm sure Ollie has forgotten all about your tortures and loves you all the same. :)

My baby looks so grown up with his big boy haircut and I find myself looking and his hair and longing for those long curls in the back... but still, he looks so handsome.

Well hello there

Baby Layne wanted to say hello.

Here he is at 11 weeks and 3 days,
waving to his (yes I think it's a boy) adoring public. Look at that tiny, adorable little hand and that perfect little face!

And this is how he spent most of his ultrasound... bend down...

and spring up!!

He was jumping up and down, waving his arms, all over the place. Both nurses said they didn't think they had ever seen a baby at this age be THIS active. He would not hold still... it was the most adorable and amazing thing. They said if he keeps this up I will be feeling him move in the next 4 weeks or so. Cannot wait for that!!!

I am more convinced than ever that this is a boy...
What to you think? Take the poll at the top of our blog.

Apparently...

Cats outta the bag and our little family secret is not such a secret these days...

When people started to approach us about this I was so surprised that word had gotten out so far, but Jon put it well... "Good news travels fast".

SO

We are VERY pleased to announce that Ollie Pop, is now


We are havin' a baby!!

It's so surreal to say those words... and to say that I am pregnant.
That was not in the plan. That was not going to happen for us... not for a long time, if ever.
To say we are thrilled out of our minds and unbelievably grateful is an understatement by a long way.
We started working with the fertility team again at the first of the year, and they found a way... we found a way, and we are pregnant :)

I just love saying that!

I am currently 10 weeks along. Yes, we know this is a bit soon to go public with the news, but word had spread so much we decided there was no point in hiding. Plus, the pace I am already gaining weight leaves me little room for hiding.

We have had two ultrasounds so far and heard/saw a healthy baby and heartbeat at both.
The most recent was on Thursday and I don't know how else to describe it but just magic. I had no idea that this early in pregnancy that there was a real live baby in there... like wiggling, waving, smiling (at least I like to think he was smiling) adorable little baby. And seeing that was such an overwhelming feeling. GRATITUDE, JOY, BLISS, RELIEF, JOY, JOY, JOY.

We are still just in shock that this is actually happening to us... and so soon!
I am due December 4th so baby Layne and Ollie will be almost exactly 2 years apart. This both excites me and scares me. I love Ollie so much, and I love our life with just him, I love spending my days with just him. He's my little buddy, my shadow, my world, and part of me is just not ready to share him. But the other part of me is excited for the years to come and for Ollie to have someone to play with and grow with and get into trouble with.
It will be good.
Life is good.
Our Father in heaven is so very kind and good and I feel so honored that he has trusted me with this gift. I really just feel so honored that I get to do this. That I get to experience a new way of becoming a Mommy. Holy cow, I am happy.

Like Family

These people... they are family.
I have been so fortunate to make so many wonderful friends and neighbors here the past 5-6 years, but this particular bunch, have a very special place with me.

We all met the first year we moved here. None of us had kids, we were all newlyweds, and I am pretty sure, this was all our first time being homeowners. We were all starting such a new and exciting phase in our lives and for me, it was a bit of an overwhelming time of adjustment in moving away from my home and family in St George. I was pretty homesick... and these people changed that.

It started with dinners and game nights that kept us all up laughing our heads off until the wee hours of the night or morning. Now, we all have kids and bedtimes, but we manage to have just as much fun, just in different ways. :)

I have really grown to rely on and love them all. They have completely been there for me when I needed family. And now, as so many are moving away and starting new chapters in their lives I can't help but feel sad. They are not moving far away, but far enough that things will never be quite the same and I'm really going to miss that. I'm really going to miss them.

Thank you all for being the greatest friends I could ever hope for. See you soon?? Right??