St. George Airshow and keeping up

Alright, 6 weeks without a new post is pretty sad.
I realize that blogging isn't what the cool kids do anymore, but I still want to stick with it. This is my life, my journal and my history. I know one day I will look back on all of this and be so glad that I kept it up. So, for all 8 of my followers, here you go.

Sophie and Ollie are doing wonderful. We are at a very happy place in our little family. Bed time has FINALLY become a happy time and not a time of screaming, crying, and everyone being miserable. Sophie has grown out of whatever was bothering her in her first few months of life, and Ollie has stopped throwing Texas sized tantrums at bed time. They are both SO happy and sweet and it makes this mamma VERY VERY happy! Sophie is obsessed with Ollie and watches everything he does. Ollie loves Sophie and loves to talk to her and tell her to be happy when she is sad.

The funnest thing by far that we did in March and all year, was the St. George Airshow.
The show was amazing. A-MAZE-ING. I cannot believe we have airplanes that can do this stuff! I had no idea and I was totally fascinated.
Equally fun though, was that SO much of my family was there. My Dad has a hanger at the airport so we kind of had back stage passes at the show. We had a BBQ right there in our hanger and it was just for us, no crowds (there were reportedly 40,000 people there).
I am so glad I had my camera to catch some of these images and memories of a few of my favorite people on earth.


Before the show, we were at my parents house and Ollie was in his own little heaven in his very favorite ride. Grandpa Kerry's "Trunko". He is OBSESSED with this car.

Then, on to the airshow.
Before the show started, Ollie was pretty excited about being at the airport and the anticipation of the BIIIIIG airplanes that were going to come and go "super fast!!"

sadly, when the show started, his feelings changed, and he was scared to death and clung to Dad for dear life.

aaaaand then he was excited again.

Sophie was pretty excited too

aaaand then not so much (best pouty face EVER)

and I'm getting tired of narrating, so here are just more picture of these awesome people I call family.

My grandpas

Uncle Boone


brother Andy and Mamma


Ollie and cousin Georgie always causing trouble, breaking all the rules.


Jon being superdad because I was busy picture taking.

and both of our kids zonking out at one time or another. So much fun... so tired.

SUCH a fun day. My parents worked so hard to make this happen and I am so so grateful! I will remember this forever. Great great day.

Blessed

We blessed our baby girl a few weeks ago...

It. Was. Wonderful.

It was a perfect day in every way.

Sophie was so beautiful, so sweet, so happy. It was so fun getting her dressed and primped for her big day. I just kept thinking how flawless she was and how happy I was. I was also thinking about my Mom and how she probably felt the EXACT same way when she got me ready for my big day.

I loved that I was able to bless her in the dress my Momma made for me when I was blessed. That dress has been hanging in a huge, beautiful shadow box at my parents house for as long as they have been there. I looked at it for so many years but never knew how beautiful it was and how special it was until it was my turn to use it for my little one.

Jon gave her a perfect blessing, and even a surprise middle name of Ruth.

Jon and I had talked about giving her the middle name of Ruth after Jon's two grandmothers who both have that name. But we didn't give it to her when she was born so we weren't sure if we wanted to change her name. I didn't even know if we were going to do it or not when Jon blessed her with that name. It was really quite a nice surprise. I never got to know Jon's grandma Boswell, but I know she was a great lady. I have however been very blessed to know his Grandma Layne very well. She is one of the cheeriest, sweetest, happiest ladies I have ever met. I adore her. She loved and accepted me from the minute I met her when I was just dating Jon. She made me feel so welcome and I have loved her ever since. So I am very happy to have my baby girl carry on that name and hopefully that cheerful attitude.

One of my favorite parts of the day was after she was blessed, Jon sat down and let me hold her, and she would not even look at me. Her eyes were locked on her Daddy, no matter what I did, she was just enamored with him which is so out of character for her. I am always her favorite and she is always looking for me (I know it's just cuz I have the food, but still). It was the sweetest thing. She loves her Daddy and knew what he had just done for her and that was her way of letting him know.

We were so happy to have a lot of family and friends there for Sophie's day. I think Ollie might have been the happiest actually because he had pretty much every favorite person on earth in the same room with him. He had so much fun playing with his Nanas, Papa's, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.


And of course the little star of the day had plenty of lovin' from all of her faves as well.




Perfect Day.

Thanks so much to everyone who came. We love you all!

Maybe the lamest post of all time

I have no idea why I am even posting this.
Maybe I am hoping I am not the only crazy person that is doing this... if you are another crazy person like me, please let me know so we can like make a support group or something.

My little sniffer is going crazy right now. I have no idea why unless it is some post-pregnancy thing. Certain smells are like some kind of crack or something for me. I CANNOT get enough of the smell and it smells SO insanely delicious I'm about this close to actually tasting this stuff. If I weren't nursing Sophie, I'm pretty sure I would.


and

These two products are the ones. Holy cow. Like it's scaring me how obsessed I am with the smell. My mouth actually waters when I smell them. I find myself doing the dishes (my least favorite chore) a LOT these days just so I can smell this stuff.

I also started drooling when I was at a Salon getting my hair done and the smell about put me in a coma it was so good.

Well, there you have it. Probably the most useless post of all time.

Really though, am I insane? Are YOU insane too?

Keeping up appearances

Like most new Momma's I know that have a new baby and a toddler or just a new baby, I don't get ready anymore.

I wear sweats or pajamas pretty much all day. I don't do my hair or make-up unless I HAVE to go out in public and by "doing hair and make-up" I mean putting my hair in a pony and throwing on lotion and mascara. Maybe a pair of jeans to make it look like I get dressed each day. Lies.

This seems to be the standard for most women in my blessed situation. Why take the time to get ready? I don't even HAVE the time to get ready. No one is going to see my anyway. Blah blah blah.

On Tuesday, I decided to fight the urge to clean house or nap when the kids actually napped at the same time, and take the time to get myself "ready". I showered, put some marakesh oil in my hair, blow dried, curled, the whole shebang. Then I did a little make-up (I am soooo bad at make-up, have no idea how to do it) and sprayed a little something lovely smelling on.

And something magic happened. I felt BETTER! I felt like my old self. The one who loved to look nice, clean, fresh. I remembered that I really love fashion. I love clothes and shoes and accessories and generally anything that is young and fun and especially something a little different than just a T-shirt and jeans. Not that there is anything wrong with T-shirts and jeans, heaven knows that's what I have been wearing on the days when I felt like I had to get dressed. But it really was a little magic. I was instantly in a good mood. I felt confident. I was excited for Jon to come home for reasons other than I would get a little help with the kiddos. I was excited for my kids to wake up so I could play with them. It was awesome.

Anyway, this experience has helped me understand a little better what it means when women say they "lose themselves" a little bit when they become Mommies. Not because they don't want to be Mommies, because they do, I do. I love being a Mommy and wouldn't trade my life for anything. Seriously not anything. BUT, I have started to feel a little lost. Like I didn't have any interest in myself anymore. It was all about taking care of babies, home, husband and my business. All things I love, but I was just missing myself on the list. I think I'm gonna try harder to put myself back on it. For real. I always agree when people say it's important to take time for yourself, but I never put that into practice because I didn't realize how true it really was.

SO. I vow to do better. I won't be perfect and I will still likely not get "ready" several days a week, but baby steps huh? Anyone else with me?

One down side to this renewed interest in fashion...
I wanna go shopping.

Christmas and Floundering Mamma

Merry belated Christmas


Hope you all (all 4 of your that still read this blog) had a wonderful Christmas and are recovering from the craziness.

I had one of the if not THE best Christmases. I was in warm, sunny St. George. My entire family was together for the first time in a few years, Ollie was in some state of euphoria the entire time with so many cousins, nana's, papa's and friends to play with, Sophie was loved and adored by all who met her, I was overwhelmed (understatement) with generosity and I was very aware the whole time that my Savior, Jesus Christ loved me. Why else would he bless me with all of this? I love when Christmas falls on a Sunday. It always enhances the true meaning of the day when we take time to go to church and feel of that incredible spirit. A little time out from the craziness of gifts and food and fun.



In other news... I'm feeling kinda like this these days

Not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

The adjustment from 1 to 2 kids has proven FAR more difficult than I imagined (I am typing this one handed while holding a fussy Sophie while Ollie is glued to the iPad).

I guess I figured that I have done this before so doing it again would be no problem.
Wrong.

Sophie is a different baby than Ollie. She sleeps at night (yay!) but not in the day (boo). She nurses... constantly. Too much in fact because I cannot keep up with her demand. She is really not on any kind of schedule yet. It's just a whole different ball game with her. PLUS, lets not forget that Ollie Pop has needs too. I just feel like I cannot keep it all together most days. No time for anything but taking care of my babies. No time to get ready, no time to eat (which makes me make less milk which worsens the issue with feeding Sophie), no time to take care of my home besides an occasional load of dishes and laundry. Oi.

It's been a lot. Particularly feeding Sophie. It's so frustrating when I can't seem to keep up with her. I want to give her the very best I can and when I can't, I feel awful. I never realized how much pressure was on a woman when you are the source of your baby's nutrition. Ollie was formula fed his whole infancy and he has always been one of the healthiest kids I know, so why do I feel like dirt when I have to supplement Sophie with a little formula? I only started doing that a few days ago because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why?! Pressure.

I am not posting this for pity, it's just one of those things that makes me feel better if I get it off my chest. In talking with other Moms of two, it's made me feel better to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Makes me feel like less of a failure because this seems to be the norm in most cases. I also realize that this whole situation will get better. It will get easier. I will get in a routine, I will figure this out and all will be well. Of that I am sure. I am also sure that there is absolutely NOTHING else I would rather be doing. It's unreal how much I love my kids. Ollie makes me laugh and smile and remember to play every single day. He melts my heart when I say "I love you" and he says "uff oo too (love you too)". He is the most charming little man I know. And Sophie makes me feel so content and happy when she is sleeping on my chest or is cuddled up in my arms. She is very close with heaven and I feel that when I have quiet moments with her and it's incredible. Plus she's just the cutest baby girl I have ever seen.

Bottom line is, my house is a mess, there are dishes and laundry and stuff everywhere, I am rarely dressed and hair/make-up is even more rare, my baby is not on a schedule yet and has formula now and then, BUT all will be well if I let it be. And I'm gonna try.

The past month

**Caution, don't read if you are easily grossed out**

What a ride this past month has been.


Our lives have been SO blessed to have little Sophie in our home. She is so sweet and happy and an AMAZING sleeper at night. Ollie didn't start sleeping through the night until he was one, so having baby girl sleeping so well this early was a very welcome surprise!


Ollie has been incredible. Seriously, he couldn't be doing better. I have not seen an ounce of jealousy in him, which really surprises me because I spend so much time feeding Sophie. But he usually just comes and hangs out in the nursery while I feed her and we sing songs and he plays with his toys. He's just the most incredible little boy. He LOVES Sophie and always lets me know when "Offie sad" and then promptly runs to her and tells her "it ok Offie". It just melts me heart to see him be so sweet with her.


It's been a really long month. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to complain, because things could have been SO much worse and really, Sophie is completely and totally worth every single hardship. I would do it all again in an instant for her. But as much as I love having my two babies, I have really struggled to take care of them and our home because I have had such a difficult recovery since delivery. The first two weeks I was just in so much pain from tearing so badly and a long long labor. When that finally started to improve, I started hemorrhaging. It would happen with NO warning and I would be soaked down to my ankles in literally an instant. The first time it happened it scared me to death, I didn't know what was happening and I couldn't control the bleeding so we called 911 and they sent an ambulance. SO lucky Jon was home at the time. The ER couldn't find the source of the bleeding so we assumed it was a fluke thing. A few days later the same thing happened again, in my car, while I was driving, alone, on the freeway. Way fun. Now we knew something was clearly not right. I ended up getting another Ultrasound (they had done one at the ER and didn't see anything) and at that time they did see that there was something in my uterus and likely causing the bleeding. I had a D&C done the next day where they did find 2 large pieces of placenta that were the problem. They were removed and everything went fine. Today I am feeling better than I have in a long time and it feels soooo good.

Like I said, it's been a tough month, but I am so unbelievably grateful for all the family and friends that have helped me and my family through all of this. I have had so much help and support and it has meant the world to us. I hope I can repay you all someday.

We are really excited for me to be healthy again and to get to St. George for a wonderful Christmas with our families. Ollie is pretty much in heaven in St. George. Playing outside with all his cousins is his happy place. Can't wait to see the joy he will be overflowing with.

She's here

Hello world.

This is Sophie.


She's our baby girl... holy cow, I still can't even believe it. I can't believe she is here and she is ours.

The journey getting her here was not what I expected for sure. But she is oh so worth it. Every bit of it.

I was admitted to Labor and Delivery on Sunday the 13th to begin my induction because of high blood pressure. I was started on a medication to try and get my body a little more ready for labor right away. What I understood of this medication was that it would simply soften things up to get ready for the labor inducing Pitocin. I anticipated a very uneventful evening and the labor to start on Monday when they started the Pitocin, and so I sent Jon to work that night to wrap up his project so he could take the rest of the week off. A few hours later, I was bawling my eyes out in pain with back to back, non-stop contractions. The doctors and nurses were all very thrown off by my reaction to the medication and suggested I get the epidural that night which I gladly accepted. Thank heavens for that stuff.

It was a long night, and a long day Monday. After 25 hours in labor, and then 1 hour of pushing, our perfect little girl was born. She was 6lbs. 6oz. and measured at 20 inches long, although she was re-measured later and was 19 inches long, which I think was more accurate.

It was overwhelming in so many ways it's just so hard to describe. I was in a lot of pain, even with the epidural, and baby girl was not kind to my body, lets just say she left her mark. But seeing her and hearing her cry was indescribable. I was sobbing. SOBBING. Just like when Ollie was born.

She was having a little trouble breathing but was quickly taken care of and in my arms. I didn't hold her long because I was so weak, so I passed her to her Daddy and watched the sweetest Daddy- Daughter meeting ever.

My recovery since has been hard. Really hard. Nothing like what I was prepared for. Thank heavens for my husband and Mom who have taken care of EVERYTHING while I have been a useless mess.

Ollie has been really good with his new sister. He was really excited when he first met her and has since shown little interest in her. I don't blame him. She doesn't do much so she's pretty un-amusing to 2-year-old. Speaking of, Ollie turned TWO!! We were all so crazy with Sophie's arrival and Ollie was so sick, so his actual birthday was pretty lame, but he seemed pretty content with a small birthday cake and a new train set. Can't believe my baby boy is two. He looks like a giant next to his baby sister who is the same size he was when he was born.

There is so much to the whole story but I think that's probably enough for now. We are just SO SO happy our girl is here and SO grateful that she is healthy and seemingly perfect. I just can't believe we have these two incredible kids. I can't believe we are a family of 4.