I wish I had something better to say

Some of you know that Jon and I have been in process of another round of IVF. Last time we miscarried almost right away. I'm very sad to say that this time is not much different.

We were going in for our embryo transfer today and just as we were getting ready to leave, we got a call from the Doctor that we didn't have a single, healthy embryo to transfer. So it was cancelled.

So here is a little background if you don't know much about our story. Our problems is a genetic defect that causes even more genetic defects in an embryo. We thought that our odds of getting a healthy embryo were about 30%, which is not good, but workable. Last time we did IVF we had 3 out of 10 embrios pass genetic testing, which matched the 30%. So when we were going in for this round, we knew they had tested 16 of our embryos for genetic defects and that 12 had survived as of yesterday, and so we were expecting at least 3-4 embryos today. Instead, all 16 had severe genetic defects. Big shock to us and the Doctors. They think our 30% estimate was not quite right and we may have worse problems that we thought. They do not think we should do IVF again until the technology is better and there is more they can do to help us. They said maybe 5-10 years.

This is hard. We are so sad. It's painful to want something so desperately, and to have it taken away. I have found myself forgetting to breathe today. BUT, just as last time, we are humbled and grateful at the outpouring of love and support from family and friends. There people much more deserving of all your thoughts and prayers, but we are still so grateful for it. We know we will have our family some day, some way. It's just not our time now unfortunately.

We will not being doing IVF again until the technology advances but we will hope for other options. Adpotion is where we would like to go now.

Thank you all again for all of your well-wishes, prayers and support. It helps so much more than you know.