I wish I had something better to say

Some of you know that Jon and I have been in process of another round of IVF. Last time we miscarried almost right away. I'm very sad to say that this time is not much different.

We were going in for our embryo transfer today and just as we were getting ready to leave, we got a call from the Doctor that we didn't have a single, healthy embryo to transfer. So it was cancelled.

So here is a little background if you don't know much about our story. Our problems is a genetic defect that causes even more genetic defects in an embryo. We thought that our odds of getting a healthy embryo were about 30%, which is not good, but workable. Last time we did IVF we had 3 out of 10 embrios pass genetic testing, which matched the 30%. So when we were going in for this round, we knew they had tested 16 of our embryos for genetic defects and that 12 had survived as of yesterday, and so we were expecting at least 3-4 embryos today. Instead, all 16 had severe genetic defects. Big shock to us and the Doctors. They think our 30% estimate was not quite right and we may have worse problems that we thought. They do not think we should do IVF again until the technology is better and there is more they can do to help us. They said maybe 5-10 years.

This is hard. We are so sad. It's painful to want something so desperately, and to have it taken away. I have found myself forgetting to breathe today. BUT, just as last time, we are humbled and grateful at the outpouring of love and support from family and friends. There people much more deserving of all your thoughts and prayers, but we are still so grateful for it. We know we will have our family some day, some way. It's just not our time now unfortunately.

We will not being doing IVF again until the technology advances but we will hope for other options. Adpotion is where we would like to go now.

Thank you all again for all of your well-wishes, prayers and support. It helps so much more than you know.

Again...

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. … If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."

Gordon B. Hinckley

I know, I posted this same quote on my blog last year. I just think it's a reminder that never gets old... so pass on over if you are tired of hearing it. Take another read through if you need a "pick me up". I miss President Hinckley. He was such a good man. Such a happy disposition and a positive outlook on life. Reading this reminds me of him and the example he is. I feel happier now :)

Happy Birthday Momma!!!

Happy Happy birthday to my beautiful Mom! I hope you have a wonderful day today celebrating YOU! Because that is really something to celebrate. What would I do without you? What kind of person would I have become without a mother like you? You have been the greatest influence on my life. You have taught me how to be a happy person, how to be a good friend, how to make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, how to be a loving wife and how to be a wonderful mother (hopefully I can put those lessons into action soon). I am so grateful for your example. I love and wouldn't even trade you for a pengwon! :)

Who else is grateful for Momma Barb??

Leave a comment if you love barb and why!!!

Baby KC

Congratulations Ty and Elise!

This was the most cooperative newborn on the planet! Baby KC is 4 days old. He was awake and happy the entire time. Plus he is stinkin' adorable so that makes my job easy.

The whole fam

Glowing parents

Baby's destiny...

Beautiful new Mamma

Congratulations happy family! You make cute babies :)