Merry belated Christmas
Hope you all (all 4 of your that still read this blog) had a wonderful Christmas and are recovering from the craziness.
I had one of the if not THE best Christmases. I was in warm, sunny St. George. My entire family was together for the first time in a few years, Ollie was in some state of euphoria the entire time with so many cousins, nana's, papa's and friends to play with, Sophie was loved and adored by all who met her, I was overwhelmed (understatement) with generosity and I was very aware the whole time that my Savior, Jesus Christ loved me. Why else would he bless me with all of this? I love when Christmas falls on a Sunday. It always enhances the true meaning of the day when we take time to go to church and feel of that incredible spirit. A little time out from the craziness of gifts and food and fun.
In other news... I'm feeling kinda like this these days
Not physically, but mentally and emotionally.
The adjustment from 1 to 2 kids has proven FAR more difficult than I imagined (I am typing this one handed while holding a fussy Sophie while Ollie is glued to the iPad).
I guess I figured that I have done this before so doing it again would be no problem.
Wrong.
Sophie is a different baby than Ollie. She sleeps at night (yay!) but not in the day (boo). She nurses... constantly. Too much in fact because I cannot keep up with her demand. She is really not on any kind of schedule yet. It's just a whole different ball game with her. PLUS, lets not forget that Ollie Pop has needs too. I just feel like I cannot keep it all together most days. No time for anything but taking care of my babies. No time to get ready, no time to eat (which makes me make less milk which worsens the issue with feeding Sophie), no time to take care of my home besides an occasional load of dishes and laundry. Oi.
It's been a lot. Particularly feeding Sophie. It's so frustrating when I can't seem to keep up with her. I want to give her the very best I can and when I can't, I feel awful. I never realized how much pressure was on a woman when you are the source of your baby's nutrition. Ollie was formula fed his whole infancy and he has always been one of the healthiest kids I know, so why do I feel like dirt when I have to supplement Sophie with a little formula? I only started doing that a few days ago because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why?! Pressure.
I am not posting this for pity, it's just one of those things that makes me feel better if I get it off my chest. In talking with other Moms of two, it's made me feel better to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Makes me feel like less of a failure because this seems to be the norm in most cases. I also realize that this whole situation will get better. It will get easier. I will get in a routine, I will figure this out and all will be well. Of that I am sure. I am also sure that there is absolutely NOTHING else I would rather be doing. It's unreal how much I love my kids. Ollie makes me laugh and smile and remember to play every single day. He melts my heart when I say "I love you" and he says "uff oo too (love you too)". He is the most charming little man I know. And Sophie makes me feel so content and happy when she is sleeping on my chest or is cuddled up in my arms. She is very close with heaven and I feel that when I have quiet moments with her and it's incredible. Plus she's just the cutest baby girl I have ever seen.
Bottom line is, my house is a mess, there are dishes and laundry and stuff everywhere, I am rarely dressed and hair/make-up is even more rare, my baby is not on a schedule yet and has formula now and then, BUT all will be well if I let it be. And I'm gonna try.
Hope you all (all 4 of your that still read this blog) had a wonderful Christmas and are recovering from the craziness.
I had one of the if not THE best Christmases. I was in warm, sunny St. George. My entire family was together for the first time in a few years, Ollie was in some state of euphoria the entire time with so many cousins, nana's, papa's and friends to play with, Sophie was loved and adored by all who met her, I was overwhelmed (understatement) with generosity and I was very aware the whole time that my Savior, Jesus Christ loved me. Why else would he bless me with all of this? I love when Christmas falls on a Sunday. It always enhances the true meaning of the day when we take time to go to church and feel of that incredible spirit. A little time out from the craziness of gifts and food and fun.
In other news... I'm feeling kinda like this these days
Not physically, but mentally and emotionally.The adjustment from 1 to 2 kids has proven FAR more difficult than I imagined (I am typing this one handed while holding a fussy Sophie while Ollie is glued to the iPad).
I guess I figured that I have done this before so doing it again would be no problem.
Wrong.
Sophie is a different baby than Ollie. She sleeps at night (yay!) but not in the day (boo). She nurses... constantly. Too much in fact because I cannot keep up with her demand. She is really not on any kind of schedule yet. It's just a whole different ball game with her. PLUS, lets not forget that Ollie Pop has needs too. I just feel like I cannot keep it all together most days. No time for anything but taking care of my babies. No time to get ready, no time to eat (which makes me make less milk which worsens the issue with feeding Sophie), no time to take care of my home besides an occasional load of dishes and laundry. Oi.
It's been a lot. Particularly feeding Sophie. It's so frustrating when I can't seem to keep up with her. I want to give her the very best I can and when I can't, I feel awful. I never realized how much pressure was on a woman when you are the source of your baby's nutrition. Ollie was formula fed his whole infancy and he has always been one of the healthiest kids I know, so why do I feel like dirt when I have to supplement Sophie with a little formula? I only started doing that a few days ago because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why?! Pressure.
I am not posting this for pity, it's just one of those things that makes me feel better if I get it off my chest. In talking with other Moms of two, it's made me feel better to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Makes me feel like less of a failure because this seems to be the norm in most cases. I also realize that this whole situation will get better. It will get easier. I will get in a routine, I will figure this out and all will be well. Of that I am sure. I am also sure that there is absolutely NOTHING else I would rather be doing. It's unreal how much I love my kids. Ollie makes me laugh and smile and remember to play every single day. He melts my heart when I say "I love you" and he says "uff oo too (love you too)". He is the most charming little man I know. And Sophie makes me feel so content and happy when she is sleeping on my chest or is cuddled up in my arms. She is very close with heaven and I feel that when I have quiet moments with her and it's incredible. Plus she's just the cutest baby girl I have ever seen.
Bottom line is, my house is a mess, there are dishes and laundry and stuff everywhere, I am rarely dressed and hair/make-up is even more rare, my baby is not on a schedule yet and has formula now and then, BUT all will be well if I let it be. And I'm gonna try.
9 comments:
Motherly guilt, is the WORST. Its not just you. My house looks exactly how yours sounds sans new born baby...what MY excuse!?
You gotta take care of yourself first mama. I'm not talking showers, bubble baths, make up and brushed hair. I mean food and sleep. The only necessities with a baby around.
Also, herbs helped my milk supply a ton. Fenugreek or/and blessed thistle. They are mentioned in the breast feeding pamphlet the hospital hands out. Saved my life!
Hang in there!
Hey Tracy...I still read your blog!! I love hearing about your life!
I just want you to know that even though I am pro-nursing, I couldn't do it. For different reasons that I won't explain here, but I couldn't and I felt the same way as you. But, my biggest life lesson that I learned as a new mom with my first is to not judge anyone. Because we don't know their situation... physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, etc. You do what you need to do. Not because someone told you so...but because it is right for you.
Keep your head up, friend. It is hard but you can do it and it will all be worth it! You will miss this stage.
I love your cute babies!! (and you!)
Amen on all counts! (I have some boob herbs Kara mentioned if you're interested in trying some...but I took them and am still using formula too...so.....)
Your babies (and hubby) are lucky to have you taking care of them. :)
We still read your blog and love you guys!
You're definitely not alone woob, being a mom is HARD. Don't beat yourself up about the formula. There's nothing evil about formula. Sophie is still getting the antibodies and all that good stuff from your breastmilk, the formula just adds to it. I give James formula before bedtime sometimes because he sleeps longer and sometimes I just need a little more sleep! Your kiddos are absolutely beautiful, good luck!
You're doing great, Tracy. Don't expect everything to be just right for awhile. You do what you can do, and you lose the guilt. Just remember...do the most important stuff first. Taking care of momma and taking care of babies and taking care of hubby. The rest can and will wait. Be patient, it gets easier. I promise.
oh... that reminds me of a poem I once heard...
Cooking and cleaning can wait till tomorrow,
For babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow.
So fly away cobwebs...dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby - and babies don't keep!
I am also pro-nursing, but it made me miserable. I didn't do well with it. And someone told me that being a happy mom for your babies is more important. Since your kids notice your mood, I say don't feel guilty for supplementing to save your sanity and give your kids the happy mom they need.
I don't know how it is possible to have more than one child. I'm exhausted with one. You're amazing!
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