Thursday, February 19, 2009

Where have they been???

Have the Layne's disappeared forever? Nope, we're still here. I know I have not blogged much lately and have been "sick" a lot so we have not been around much.

So here's the deal. I have debated whether to post this or not. Since I have decided to go ahead please note that this is NOT a plea for pity or anything pathetic like that. I simply want my friends and family informed so you dont ask me a question that I am not ready for and I burst into tears and we both feel crappy... now that I have it out there though I will be ready for it!

Some of you know and some dont that Jon and I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of years and we have recently gone through a very complex form of InVitro and genetic testing, to try to get our little one... this requires a lot of time at the doctors office, having to be home early every night to do shots and several "sick" days. So on Feb. 10th the phone call that we have been waiting and waiting for finally came and unfortunately the news was not what we were hoping for. The test was positive, I was pregnant, but barely. My hormoes were very low (17... supposed to be over 100) and they said this was likely a miscarriage but possibly just a low level. They waited 2 more days to repeat the test and as we expected, we miscarried.

Yes we are very sad. It's a hard thing to go through all that and not get what you wanted so desperately, but we are not done... we will try again eventually. We are doing better now. We are VERY grateful for everyone that supported us, prayed for us, fasted for us and were just hoping for us. That is a big positive that we got out of this. We see how very lucky we are to have such great people in our lives. We really feel very blessed.

Now, please dont be scared of me girls... dont be scared to tell me you are pregnant or talk about your kids for fear of hurting my feelings. It makes me really happy to see and hear about the cuteness around me.

Ok, I feel better now... again, this is NOT for sympathy (I'm a little paranoid about everyone thinking that) but now that it's out there I am not so worried about being caught off guard and I will be ready to talk. Thanks again everyone for all your support and love, it was very much felt and very much appreciated.



P.S. fun, distracting activities are like morphine for me right now so if anyone is doing anything fun please fill me in!